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| Guiding behaviour positively in early childhood settings
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Children need adults to teach, guide, and support them as they grow and learn. Early childhood education and care providers play an important role in guiding children's behavior in positive, supportive, and age-appropriate ways.
The most appropriate ways to guide behavior vary at different ages, and depend on a child's developmental abilities and needs. For example, two-year-olds have limited understanding and need a lot of redirection, but five-year-olds can learn to be good problem solvers.
Effective guidance strategies also depend on an individual child's personality. Strategies that work well for one child may not be effective for another child of the same age.
Common strategies for guiding children's behavior in early childhood settings
Here are some basic tips child care providers can use to guide children's behavior.
Keep rules simple and easy to understand
Discuss rules with children and write them down. Consider children's suggestions for rules. Repeat the rules often. A few rules that work well with children include:
- Help each other.
- Take care of our toys.
- Say please and thank you.
- Be kind to each other.
Say what you mean
Use "do" instead of "don't" whenever possible. Choose your words carefully, especially when you are guiding children's behavior. Keep sentences short and simple. Focus on what to do rather than what not to do.
- Try saying, "Slow down and walk" instead of "stop running."
- Try saying, "Come hold my hand" instead of "don't touch anything."
- Try saying, "Keep your feet on the floor" instead of "don't climb on the table."
- Try saying, "Use a quiet voice inside" instead of "stop shouting."
Talk with children – not "at" them
Children often don't pay attention when you are talking (or shouting) "at" them. Guidance is much more effective when you talk to children at their eye level. Look them in the eyes, touch them on the shoulder, and talk with them. Resist the urge to simply lecture. Instead, give children time to respond, and listen genuinely to their points of view.
Set a good example
Children watch you all the time. They see how you talk to other children and adults. They see how you cope with anger or frustration. They watch how you deal with sadness and joy. They listen to how you say "I'm sorry." The way you handle the ups and downs of life teaches children a lot about how to behave and get along with others.
Encourage children to set good examples for each other
Children also learn a great deal from each other. Encourage appropriate ways to share, play, and be kind to each other.
Give clear, simple choices
Toddlers can choose between a red cup and a green cup. Preschoolers can choose between playing "airport" and "zookeeper." Give children a choice only when there is a choice. For example, saying "It is nap time, do you want to lie down now?" is not really an option if your rule is that everyone will rest at nap time.
Show respect for children
Talk to children about misbehaviour in private, rather than in front of others. Remind them of reasons for rules, and discuss what they can do differently. The inverse of this applies in the case of positive behaviour, which should be publicly recognised and celebrated as much as possible.
Catch children being good
All children want attention. It is better to give them positive attention for good behavior than negative attention for misbehavior. Comment on something positive about each child, each day. Better yet, strive for several times a day. And share the good news. When children have done something positive, mention it to other children and to parents.
Encourage like a good coach instead of a cheerleader
A cheerleader just shouts general praise: "What a great job!" or "What a beautiful picture." A good coach tells you what you're doing right, uses praise as a teaching tool, and lets you know why he or she is proud of you.
If a child sets the table, you might say, "You did such a good job setting the table! You put the spoons and forks in the right place and remembered the napkins!" When you look at a child's painting, you might remark, "This painting just glows with color. You used blue, green, red, yellow, and orange. Tell me how you did this!"
Use play activities to teach social skills
Become a character in children's pretend play and show children how to use good manners and be kind. Read children's books that show how children resolve problems. Play "what if" games. Encourage children to act out ways to work together.
Teach children how to resolve conflict and solve problems
Help them recognise and name feelings, identify problems clearly, come up with ideas for solving the problem, and try possible solutions.
Teach children how to apologise
Learning how to apologise is a skill. Young children have a hard time understanding another child's feelings, but by the time they are four years old they should begin to recognise that apologising is a good way to make up for hurting someone else.
Keep it simple (e.g., "Lucas, I'm sorry I hit you.") With time and practice, children will not have to be prompted, and their apology will be more genuine. Teach preschoolers and school-age children the four basic steps of apologising:
- Look at the other child
- Say the child's name
- Say "I'm sorry"
- Say why
Teach children how to correct their misbehaviour
If a child throws food onto the floor give him a broom and show him how to clean it up. If a child draws on the wall, give her a wet cloth to clean the wall. Even if the child cannot successfully clean up the entire mess alone, participating in clean-up teaches him/her that actions have consequences. Over time, experiencing consequences helps children learn self-control.
This article on how to positively guide children's behaviour in early childhood education and care settings was originally sourced on Extension.org
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