We just can't win: Aussie mums put up with flack for both working and staying at home.

There's no denying that going back to work after having a baby is incredibly stressful. The difficulty in finding child care and negotiating terms with employers notwithstanding, the actual emotional part of going back to work and leaving your baby at home can be extremely difficult.

"Mother guilt" is still felt very keenly by Australian working mums. In our survey 32% of working mothers said that mother guilt was the hardest thing about going back to work. TAS, NT and SA mums feel it more than most (over 35%) compared to only 28% of NSW and VIC mums.

ACT mums are least likely to feel mother guilt (just 24%), but then a slightly higher proportion of mums in the ACT state "career progression" as their key motivator to return to work and they are more likely to get help from employers than mums in any other state.

ACT working mums also feel more valued at work than those in VIC and NSW, with 21% saying they feel more valued after having a baby compared to 15% of NSW and VIC working mothers.

As far as how mums are feeling at work after having a baby and how their employers and colleagues perceive their dedication is a tricky subject: Priorities shift for mums in terms of how they feel about their jobs and careers post baby. And they're probably also exhausted, given that 60% of working mums are apparently still doing the lion's share of the pick-up, drop off and child care issues. Only 35% said they shared the load equally with their partner.

The majority of working mums naturally prioritise their family over career: 55% of working mums say they are less focused on their career progression than they were before baby, and that's fine! If it weren't the case we'd have to seriously question our motives for having a baby at all.

But by the same token, it should come as no surprise that employers and colleagues might question mothers' dedication to their jobs, which in turn can make working mums feel less valued or stigmatised in the workplace.

At the end of the day no mother should be questioned for putting her children above her job. Really it's a no-brainer. Just because she would ultimately put her children before her career, it doesn't mean that she doesn't take her job very seriously.

While around 40% of working mums don't think their work situation has changed in terms of how valued by their employers they feel, but over a quarter, 27% of mums feel less valued at work after having a baby. This is highest in NSW and SA at 31%. A quarter of those surveyed also said they feel stigmatized by colleagues for not taking their work seriously.

And it's not just at work that working mums are getting some flack. Over a fifth (22%) of working mums say they feel judged by non-working mums for not focusing on their kids, which seems a bit unfair given the vast majority of mums who were working said they returned to work due to financial necessity.

However, there seems to be a breakdown in the sisterhood here, because a fifth of stay at home mums in NSW and VIC have felt stigmatised by other mothers.

For many women staying at home with their children is a choice. For many it boils down to the viability of work vs child care and travelling expenses etc. Sometimes the figures just do not add up.

At no point though should any mother be vilified for her decision to stay at home with her children any more than she should be for deciding to go back to paid employment.

Mothers are entitled to also follow their career dreams. Mumpreneurs are becoming increasingly powerful and visible in the changing face of Australian business, with a huge army of mums now running very successful businesses from home.

However, not all mums are working to follow a career dream and not all are working out of choice. Many are simply working out of financial necessity, to play their part in keeping their family financially afloat.

It's a simple fact that the Australian economy needs working mums in the workforce more than ever. There is nothing wrong with choosing to work as a mother, any more than choosing not to work. And there's absolutely no reason to judge a working mum for choosing to pick up her baby rather than stay for a late meeting. So we need to stop judging women - working or otherwise. Motherhood is serious business, it's building the future of our country, and it's time to start genuinely supporting mothers as best we can – both at home and at work.

Next week we'll be covering off the National Quality Framework, how much parents know about it and what parents think of the new guidelines.

View Part 1 – How long, how much and is it worth it?

View Part 2 – Quality & employer support for working parents

View Part 3 – Returning to work

View Part 4 – National Quality Framework