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How to deal with bedwetting
By Sophie Cross
Mummy I've wet the bed. Every parent has experienced that cry in the middle of the night at least a few times. Bedwetting is one of the most common and yet most embarrassing and distressing problems that small (and larger) children have to deal with.
Unbelievably this completely natural and frequent issue is still looked upon with repugnance, embarrassment and even shame by some parents who feel that it's some sort of social stigma or somehow reflects badly on them.
The fact is we all have bladder issues from time to time. And we're all different.
Some of us have bladders the size of a pea and go to the toilet every hour or so, but some of us seem to be able to go all day without going to the loo at all. And a good proportion of us will have wet the bed at some point in our lives…as kids or even as grown ups.
Bedwetting is simply a manifestation of your child's development in the toilet department. Some may never wet their beds. My little girl wet hers once or twice to the point I was actually more preoccupied with the fact she never seemed to go to the loo. She is totally fine. My best friend's little boy wet his bed frequently and was always going to the loo. He is completely fine too.
Bedwetting does often seem to run in families, but there's no real reason for it doing so and as one mum said: "I don't understand it. Milo is 5 and wets the bed most nights whereas the other two were out of night nappies at 3!"
Some children simply take a while longer to get to grips with going to the loo – during the day and at night. There are those who don't toilet train until they are 3 or 4, and some who still wear night-time nappies when they're already at school. It's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.
In the classic early Adam Sandler film, Billy Madison, Billy's third grade friend wets himself on a school outing. Billy (Adam Sandler - an adult who has to take all his school grades in two weeks in order to take over his father's company) comes to his aid by wetting his own pants in a fountain and declaring "You ain't cool, unless you pee your pants!"
He saves his friend from embarrassment and deals with the issue there and then to the point that all the kids put water down the front of their pants in support.
Bedwetting is simply night-time bladder control. Sometimes we're in control, sometimes we're not. Even as an adult I occasionally have those dreams in which I'm desperate for the loo and can't find a toilet that's got a door or isn't filthy – it's simply my body trying to tell me to wake up, because I need to go to the loo. And I can say that a few times in my adult life, I haven't woken up in time or have actually found a loo in my dreams that looks ok and have started to pee! It happens!
Summary:
Causes
- Age (generally under 5) – undeveloped bladder control
- Stress or upheaval, nervousness etc.
- Too much liquid before or at bedtime or liquids containing caffeine
- Bladder infection or bladder condition. If your child I also experiencing pain or difficulty passing urine you must see your GP.
- Too little of the antidiuretic hormone (ADH) which can be treated with medicine.
Prevention
- Limit drinks before bedtime
- Always ensure your child goes to the toilet before getting into bed
- If they wet the bed often, it's even worth waking them up when you go to bed and letting them have a "dream wee"
- If they have wet the bed before, encourage and don't admonish. The more relaxed and happy they are the less likely they are to wet the bed.
- Use waterproof mattress protectors to limit damage to your beds and allow your child to wear night-time nappies to make them feel more secure and confident.
When it happens
- Absolutely never admonish your child for wetting the bed. It's completely out of their control and if it's anything to do with nervousness or stress, telling them off can only make things worse.
- Reassure them. They usually feel really bad about it anyway. It's Ok. It happens to everyone.
- Don't make them feel alienated or different by not allowing them to go on sleepovers. There are plenty of types of night-time nappies for older kids on the market. Explain the situation to the friend's parents and they will no doubt be sympathetic and help your child get to bed without any fuss.
By the time your child starts school, he or she will most likely have stopped, so above all, don't worry about it! If you stress about it so will they. It is quite common for children to carry on wetting their bed every now and then until the age of 9 or 10, but see your GP if your child is experiencing pain or discomfort when peeing or if the bedwetting is frequent or increasing.
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| Sophie Cross is a public relations consultant and writer who has publicised and written about everything from makeup to The Muppets, child care to celebrity chefs and perfume to Partners in Population and Development! Originally from the UK and as a languages graduate she has worked around the world, living in Australia for the last 11 years where she runs, PR Chicks. Read Sophie's blog
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