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| Settling into school or child care
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How to ease the transition
Many children will have started school or child care for the first time in the last few weeks and for most it will be an entirely positive experience. But it's a big, big deal for both kids and parents and occasionally may not go quite to plan.
Children are creatures of habit and they also develop in their own way and their own time, but there are some core skills and behaviour you can help with on a practical level to ensure they'll be able to stand on their own two feet, such as making sure they have got to grips with simple things like knowing how to sit still, wait and listen.
The thing to remember is that child carers and teachers of kindergarten have seen it all before and can spot children who are having a tough time. They often have a buddy system to help children to adjust and fit in. And some may allow half days to begin with.
Your child may take the transition completely in his or her stride. Often children who have already experienced regular child care find it easier, being used to routines, other children and a busy environment.
The most important thing is to keep communicating with your child and take care to notice signs that things may not be going well.
It's not uncommon for a child in their second week not to want to go to school. The excitement of the first week has worn off, but they still feel nervous and they're probably also very tired.
You can watch your child's behaviour as well as listen to what they say. Are they happy and enthusiastic to get ready for school or child care are they dawdling or making excuses for not being ready? Are they making up tummy or headaches in order to stay home? How do they react when you ask them how their day was?
It's important to keep your questions simple. Don't expect a five-year-old to answer a question about whether they're happy at school. You'll get more information if you ask specific questions, such as who did you play with? Who did you eat lunch with?
Of course there may be more deep rooted reasons why your child is not fitting in or socialising. This can be a time when autism or Asperger's may start to be noticeable. Particularly if your child is not making friends or playing with other children, or may be sitting on his or her own. But don't panic, this can also be a normal part of transition as well. If after talking to teachers there continues to be issues, it may be a good idea to visit your GP and possibly investigate further.
Mostly though, the transition time will be short and within a few weeks or months your child will be having a great time, making new friends and enjoying all aspects of school life.
Parenting expert and mother of three, Dr Pat Spungin says "It's your child's first real step to independence. It'll be a world that they know and you don't. When your child settles down and enjoys school, it's a tribute to how well you have raised him or her, so try to look at it positively."
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