|
|
|
|
Getting through the first few weeks of child care
For parents and children starting child care for the first time separation anxiety is common. For many children, child care is their first experience of extended separation from their parents and for many parents the guilt they have about leaving their child can make the first few days of child care a very emotional time.
Separation anxiety is a natural part of the developmental process and children between two months and three years are particularly susceptible. It should not at this stage be confused with Separation Anxiety Disorder, which is a psychological disorder that can seriously affect the daily lives of adults or older kids. But with small children, handled gently, this is simply a phase that will pass as soon as they settle into their new environment and make new friends.
It may be stating the obvious, but children who have had more interaction with children and with adults other than their parents, tend to adapt a lot quicker to a new environment. They have already learnt to trust other people and not be intimidated by new faces and places and they have experienced routines other than their home routine. Children who have never been looked after by other people or spend any time away from their parents can find it hardest of all.
When you're thinking of starting your child in care, it can be a good idea to get a babysitter in for a few hours during the day every now and then, while you go and do chores. Or if you don't want to pay for a babysitter or don't have a regular one that you trust, get a friend to look after your little one for the odd morning and reciprocate when they need you to. The more small children get used to other people looking after them and to other routines, the less anxious they'll feel when the time comes to got to child care (and the same applies to those starting school).
It can also be quite liberating for parents. Once you know your child is OK without you, while there may be a slight disappointment that they really are quite fine without you (!), it does alleviate the guilt and anxiety of leaving them in care and it can also mean that you may even be happy to go away for the odd day or weekend and enjoy some kid-free time with your partner.
So, the key to avoiding unnecessary separation anxiety (for both parents and children) is to be prepared and start an 'acclimatisation' program as early as you can.
Before Starting Care
- When you have secured a place in the child care service of your choice, take your child in for a visit as soon as you can.
- If possible ask the director of the centre to give you a tour and encourage your child to play with the other children.
- Most centres will let you bring your child in for supervised visits in the weeks leading up to the start date, take them up on the offer! Your child will be a lot happier once he/she is familiar with the new environment and you will feel more comfortable once you know the carers and some of the other kids.
- On one of these visits make sure you ask the carer to show your child where they will sleep, eat and go to the toilet and where the inside and outside play areas are.
- Introduce your child to the carers and tell them when your child is starting.
- During the preliminary visits, as your child becomes familiar with the child care environment try to stay out of sight and encourage your child to interact with the other children.
- Make sure you provide the carers with any information about your child which will help them settle in, for example sleeping/eating habits, likes/dislikes and favourite toys/comforters.
- Go to the library and borrow some books about child care and read them to your child in the days leading up to care.
- Engage in lots of positive conversation about starting child care and try and maintain an upbeat attitude. Your child will gain confidence from your confidence.
The First Few Days
- Remember that it is perfectly normal for children to be teary and emotional on the first few drop-offs.
- Try to adopt a calm, positive attitude. Children have a remarkable ability for sensing the mood of their parents and ensuring you maintain a façade of confidence will instil confidence in your child.
- Say a quick goodbye, give your child a kiss and cuddle and then leave, prolonged farewells will simply draw out the tears.
- Whatever you do don't sneak out as this will make the child mistrustful and clingier the next day.
- Once you have left the carer will scoop your child up and engage the in an interesting activity, so try not to worry!
- Remember you can call at any time during the day if you feel concerned, so feel free to pick up the phone if you need some reassurance.
- If possible, pick your child up early for the first few days. For children new to group care it can be extremely tiring and shorter days will help your child adjust more quickly.
- On pick up ask the carer for a debrief on how the day went, discuss any concerns you had, how your child managed, what they enjoyed and so on. Learning about your child's day will help you feel involved, even if you can't be around to participate.
- Maintain the positive chats and stories with your child at home, so child care becomes something to look forward to and enjoy rather than something to dread.
- If your child continues to be teary and emotional, encourage them to talk about their feelings, validate those feelings, then positively reiterate why care is necessary.
Whatever your circumstances, it's worth remembering that every child is different, as every parent is different and some children adapt more quickly to child care than others and the transition period you and your child go through will depend on factors such as your child's age, stage of development, previous experiences with other carers and the child care environment they are entering.
In the main though, stay calm, cheerful and communicate. They will be fine and so will you and soon you'll both be used to your new routine and will wonder what on earth you were worrying about!
|
|
|
|
|
