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| Forget the terrible twos… here come the feral fives
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Study shows 5 to be the most difficult age
If you've got a child around the age of five, you may have noticed your voice pitch and volume getting higher and higher. Your tone is likely to have changed too (to a slightly irritated and cross), along with your level of patience; you find yourself sounding more and more exasperated and annoyed, and most likely counting down to that time when it's just about socially acceptable to have a glass of wine and almost time for bath and bed.
According to a recent study, children are at their most challenging for their parents as they turn five. This is the time when children are going off to school or in the year before they start, and develop a voice of their own, "influential" friends, fierce determination, new found independence, tiredness, tantrums and other choice behaviour that drives you up the wall.
New, external influences of school, other children and their older siblings, answering back and refusal to do as they're told all add to the stress of dealing with a five year old.
Yes, you thought that the sleepless nights and early baby years were going to be the worst. According to the research by Care.com, while parents think that the sleepless night phase will be the hardest, 66 per cent of parents said this was in hindsight the easiest time! No one tells you it just gets harder as they get older and develop very strong personalities of their own!
In fact, 80 per cent of mums said that parenting is a lot harder than they thought it would be.
Liz Fraser, Modern Family Expert for the UK's Care.com, said: “When you find out you are expecting a child, everyone warns you about the sleepless nights that come with having a new-born,or the struggles you face during the hormonal teenage years.
“One particular period of a child's life that parents often seem to need a little more help with and preparation for is when their children approach school age. This stage brings some very big challenges, for both the child and the parents.
It's not just their behaviour that's difficult to deal with though. Many parents say that they react to the underlying realisation that their baby is not a baby any more, and with many parents likely to be back to work at least part time by this state, balancing work with childcare, outside of school hours or during holidays is particularly stressful.
The lack of affordable child care adds to an already stressful situation, with 41 per cent saying things would have been made easier if they had family members who could have helped out with childcare now and then.
Another four in ten said more money would have made things less challenging while 38 per cent would have found it easier if childcare was cheaper.
And as a result of the added stress, seven in ten admitted their relationship with their partner suffered while they were going through a difficult stage with their child.
Apparently one in three said they can now look back and laugh at this difficult period. Presumably these are the one in three who didn't have any younger children at the time. The other two thirds have probably had more children and are still going through it, teeth clenched and wine glass at the ready.
Top ten most challenging things about having a five-year-old:
- Dealing with their new attitude/answering back
- Having other children influence their behaviour
- Accepting my baby is growing up
- Juggling childcare with school holidays
- Tantrums
- Juggling work while they are ill
- Juggling childcare before/after school
- Knowing how best to discipline
- Encouraging them to work hard/do their homework
- Trying to help with their homework
If you've got one, good luck! You'll be out of the woods in about 13 years!
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