Tamara Meadows is married to Ashton whom she's been with since she was 15 years old (17 years!).
They are the very proud parents of Ethan and Alicia - twins almost 4 years old. Tamara works as a district coordinator for Pfizer Australia in Melbourne.
Ethan and Alicia attend the Community Run Centre, Knaith Road CCC in Ringwood East.
Tamara Meadows
C4K: Tamara has a great story of just what it takes to manage twins in child care and at home, juggling work and motherguilt. It's also a great illustration of the behind the scenes work and support that goes into running a child care centre, particularly with regards to helping parents and children with special needs - whether the need is the result of a disability or just different emotional requirements.
JM: "While on maternity leave I completed her CertIV Business Management, with the support of my workplace. This became challenging at times, gently kicking a rocker with one baby, holding the other to my breast and trying to type on the laptop just a normal day for me for a while there!!
I currently work 3 days a week, Monday, Wednesday and Friday which is a terrific balance for our family, but it has taken some trials and a lot of flexibility from my workplace (Pfizer Australia) to come to a balance that works for both my employer and my family. I was saddened to return to work after 12 months maternity leave as my babies were only 10 months old, but financial reasons made it essential. I was fortunate to have my mother caring for the children for the first few months; I still found it hard to leave them each day. Soon we dropped my days to four days a week, to try and ease the burden at home, but that nagging guilt and envy of my mothers' group friends who were all still at home was sometimes overwhelming.
We had visited many child care centres and only found one that we felt confident in. It just felt like home when ever I walked in, the people were genuinely caring and they welcomed me back again and again to re-visit the facilities. I became a serial pest, ringing them on a fortnightly basis to ensure our place on their waiting list and to see if things had progressed. Very soon I got place for both kids, one day a week. Grandma welcomed this relief as they had now begun walking and were becoming an ever increasing challenge. I dropped my days to 2 a week for a few months, but found I needed a bit more time in the office and now have the well balanced three days.
The children attend the Community Run Centre, Knaith Road CCC in Ringwood East. The passion and commitment of the staff is refreshing, it really does feel like and extended family. When we began at the centre they not only took the time to help my children feel welcome but they also offered me reassurance and a shoulder to cry on too. I received emailed photos of the children at work, something small that meant the world to me at the time. The girls I worked with knew I had an email from Child Care when I would spontaneously start laughing and crying at the same time. I have recently joined the committee of management and have been shocked to see the after hours time and effort put in by a few staff and parents to run the centre - something I think many parents don't appreciate.
The centre takes particular care of children with special needs, currently they have several children with hearing or learning impairments and I have been amazed to see my children learn sign language so they can communicate with these kids. I think mine could converse with sign language before they could put three words together verbally. I have had to keep the cheat sheets at home so that I could interpret some of the signs being used at the dinner table - more, yummy, please, thank you…
The centre had not encountered twins before and found in time that they brought a range of new challenges. Firstly, my kids were so satisfied with each other's company that they didn't feel the need to socialise with other children. This in turn caused concerns about their speech development. Having a constant companion distracting them caused problems during group activities too. There was the fighting when ever another child tried to get between them. And, I hate to admit it, sometimes there was bullying as the two of them decided to take toys off or push around other children.
Through regular discussions with the carers in their room and consistency between home and child care my two, on the verge of out of control 2 year olds are now independent and delightful 3 year olds. I could not have done this with out the understanding and efforts at childcare. We agreed upon tactics and worked on our concerns as a team. They consistently moved my kids into different activities, concentrating on separating them not just at activity time but also during free play. We all would not accept the twins talking on behalf of or over the top of each other.
Although I am using the term loosely now, we would not use the term "Twins" or slur the names "Ethan & Alicia" into one breath. We talked of there different friends and different skills and interests. Out of child care I also arranged grandma to rotationally look after one child whilst I took the other to playgroup for some time to socialise alone. We also arranged many one on one mummy and daddy activities to ensure the children were independent of each other.
With support of the child care centre we took charge of a very important growth stage for my children and have armed them with the skills to be confident and independent. The other day Ethan came to me and said a girl from child care had called him "a Twin", and followed that with "What's that mummy?" I guess we might need to spend this year focusing on all the wonderful things about being a twin to balance out all this independence we have asserted in them. The juggling act never ends!!"
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