Off To School... Are You and Your Babies Ready?

Off To School… Are You and Your Babies Ready?
Tips for transition from child care to big school!

Rather like second timers listening to first time mums going on about routines (hello, when you have another one you realise they just fit in with number one – routine, schmoutine!), mothers with kids already in big school will be sending their little ones off without so much as a sniff this January, wondering what all the fuss is about. In fact they may do a little dance of freedom when they get round the corner!

But for mums sending their babies to school for the first time, the thought of their baby in his or her new uniform alone can bring on uncontrollable sobbing. Apart from the emotional trauma of your child going to school, this time can also herald even more stress on working parents in terms of dealing with short school days as well as the worry that their child may not be quite ready for school. Are you throwing them into a situation they're not ready for so you can get back to work, regain your sanity, your social life or time to do the chores and go to the toilet without an entourage? This is all part of Mother guilt. The first day at child care was just the beginning!

It may all seem daunting but it will quickly pass when you see just how much your baby loves his or her new school and you'll feel so much better if you are prepared and know that both you and your child care ready for the transition to the next phase of your lives…

Is your baby ready?
Certainly if your child has been in fairly structured child care or pre-school several days a week, there are likely to be few issues, given he or she is already used to routines, lessons and expectations of behaviour; but for those children who haven't been in formal care for more than a couple of days a week, the sudden change to full time big school can be fairly daunting.

Firstly rest time or lunchtime snoozes is a thing of the past. Rigid timetabling, lesson time, deadlines to get up and get ready in the morning are all that more pressing and stressful… Thank god for uniform so at least "what I'm going to wear" is one argument that doesn't need to happen every morning!

There are a number of things parents of all children, whether in formal long day care or not can do to make the transition as easy as possible.

Firstly –emotional and academic readiness – we use academic very loosely, of course.

The following tips to help your child from a language, maths and social skills are very useful to ensure your child is ready for the leap. If you can encourage your child to attempt the following over the next couple of months, they'll be fine. Don't worry if he or she can't do all of them – you can talk to the Kindergarten teacher for support and assistance if required.

Language – can your child do the following?

Talk to other people about familiar objects and events
Answer and ask simple questions
Make needs known
Follow simple instructions
Use books for enjoyment or for looking at pictures
Identify pictures in books, magazines, on television or video
Use a variety of things (pens, pencils, textas, paintbrushes, sticks in the dirt) to draw, to scribble or to write
Join in singing familiar songs

Mathematics

Recognise that numbers can be used to count
Use words such as many, a lot, more, less
Identify things in a group that are different
See differences in shapes
Differentiate between opposites – up and down, under and over, in front and behind, day and night

Personal/Social Skills – does your child do the following?

Use the toilet independently
Say own name and address
Adapt to unfamiliar settings and new experiences
Finish a task, and tidies up afterwards
Play cooperatively with other children – shares and takes turns
Sit still to listen to a story for a few minutes
Ask questions about the world
Participate in imaginative play

Physical Skills

Use scissors to cut along a straight line
Enjoy a variety of indoor and outdoor play
Put on and take off jumpers, shoes, socks independently
Make and designs things using a variety of materials

If you can tick off most of those points, then your child is ready for school. If there are some that need work, then there are lots of simple activities you can do between now and the end of January, such as practise cutting out shapes and lines, practising getting dressed, learning to wipe bottom on own; looking at maps and the atlas and talking about different countries; performing role plays like teachers and pupils, mummies and babies, princesses etc and basic counting games and puzzles.

Secondly, routines and activities:

As far as routine goes following are a few tips to help get used to the school routine. Parents can do this with children or child care centres, family day care or nannies can be asked to help out with the transition.

Increase child care days:
If possible and affordable, you can think about increasing your child's days in care – even if part time or short days, for the month or so leading up to big school. This will make it less of a shock to the system. This can be informal care as well as formal care. But just time away from you and in structured surroundings will help.

Cut out lunch time sleep:
Use the next couple of months to cut out the lunchtime sleep. After lunch don't put your child to bed but encourage quiet time instead of sleep – maybe stories or quiet games, colouring in or looking at books.

Get used to the school routine:
Try to structure the morning routine so that they have had breakfast, brushed teeth and got dressed by school time. If you are home with the kids, factor in activity times, reading time, talking time and recess times for breaks, then lunch time and "home time" at 3pm. If you are able, try to start doing the school day yourself…

Meet other parents with newbies!
At orientation days/parents information nights make sure you try to meet some local parents with children starting at the same time… organise play dates with them before next year so the children have familiar faces and a few friends in their new class.

Now about you… Are you ready?

There seems to be loads of organisation to get through before your child starts school: Parents' info nights, orientation days, newbies' play dates, school uniform purchase mornings, doctors appointments for immunisation and pre-school hearing and sight tests… and already your own work or home routine is scuppered.

And it's just the beginning. Soon there will be school days, excursions, parental duties in the canteen, tuck shop, reading classes etc; after school clubs; music lessons and homework and then begins the weekend sporting activities… The juggle of work and child care will seem like a distant dream in comparison!

If you are working full time with inflexible hours/an inflexible employer, make sure you've sorted out before and after school care early on… Either with family and friends, a part time nanny or at OOSH care or at school. Enrol your child in before or after school care as early as possible. Most schools provide this, but as with all forms of child care, there will be high demand for limited places.

Click here to get started with your search.

If you don't have friends and family on tap to help out, meeting and befriending other newbies' parents will also be a huge help, because sharing drop offs, pick ups and after school care can be a massive lifesaver for all concerned.

If you're interested in working more flexible hours to suit school days, have you broached this with your employer? Could you start early and finish early? Work from home a day or two a week? Work part time or shorter days? If you can make it work financially, many employers will be open to suggestion… after all it could be a nice cost-cutter for them as well.

If you're at home or working part time or casually, now's the time to get used to your new routine. Whatever you do during the day, it stops at 2.45. If you can sort out play dates after school, either at your home or someone else's you can buy some extra time until tea, but that's about it!

Whatever your situation and despite the new routines, work stresses, fear factor and overwhelming emotions, this is the most exciting thing your child's done so far and both you and your child will remember the first day of school for a very long time to come. So whatever other things you have to organise, arrange and come to terms with, whatever you do, don't forget your camera!

For more tips and advice on going to school click here for more CareforKids.com.au articles and visit your local Education Dept websites:

National
Western Australia
A.C.T
Tasmania

South Australia
Queensland
Northern Territory
New South Wales

The working parents juggle… why is it getting harder?

Last month's survey revealed the over 68 per cent of women were so over the daily work and child care struggle, they were actively thinking about leaving work; setting up their own business or working from home in order to manage parenting and child care.

Despite the workforce being half female, more working women than ever before and an economy and country that needs both women in the workforce and an increase in fertility rate, it seems that the juggle of child care and work is getting worse, not better.

Another survey this month by women's business network, sphinxx.com.au also showed that 44 per cent of women believed they had been turned down for promotion due to their sex; 35 per cent had capped their career aspirations in order to make parenting easier and 88 per cent saying they have made personal sacrifices of various sorts to get ahead in their career – including parenting and time at home.

This has been a trend over the last few decades, so why aren't businesses, schools and other institutions making it easier for parents, and most particularly women who are still the ones who actually bear and nurture children for at least the first few months of their lives?

If the economy needs women to play a major part in business, what is business doing to encourage women to go to the effort of keeping their careers going instead of staying at home with their children? After all with the cost of child care, it's often not even financially viable to go back to work, so if mums don't feel they're getting support from employers, they will simply not bother going back. Will there be a backlash in the next generation of women who just don't think a career is worth the heartache, expense and aggro? If so, the economy's going to get a nasty shock so what should employers, government, education and child care institutions be doing to help?

What can employers do?

Recognise traditional working hours often just don't work for mums – and implement more flexible working hours/core hours/part time/work from home arrangements and opportunities for job sharing.
Recognise that children do get sick and need to stay home. And therefore so do parents. So working from home should be encouraged and not frowned upon or agreed to with a sigh. Parents should not be made to feel guilty if they're children are sick.
More large companies could establish centres or child care benefits programs. A sure fire way of ensuring employees aren't late or have to leave early to get through the traffic to meet child care opening times.

What can parents do?

Share the load
When both parents work full time, they can both share pick up and drop off duties, school meetings, doctors' appointments, care of sick children and other unforeseeable issues that occur in a regular week!

Try to negotiate work schedules where possible so that it's not just one person who's doing all the running around.

Say yes to friends and family
So many people hate asking for help or taking up offers of child care duties from friends and family. We've all become so independent and self sufficient that the sense of community has all but gone. If a family member or friend offers to fill in the gaps between work and school hours, say yes please and either pay them or pay them in kind or with treats or appointments at the local massage therapist!

Many people don't have family in the area, or indeed in the country, so make sure you build your own network of other parents in similar situations and share the load with them. Share after school care or pick ups and drop offs with other parents at your child's child care or school. As long as you pull your weight and are returned the favour, it can be very helpful and you won't feel bad about it at all! And you'll also make some great friends and build a good local support network.

Stick to your guns and don't be bullied by employers
It's easy to get sucked into the working later or earlier than necessary and as research shows, working late is mainly unproductive and generally unnecessary. It's either done because an employee isn't coping with a job in normal hours (and should either ask for help or get out) or is just trying to score points for being the last one in the building…

So – forget brownie points and make a pact to leave on time and be home as early as possible.

Never schedule meetings at the end of the day and if possible never accept them, but try to change them to a more appropriate time if possible. Often people who schedule meetings at the end of the day are either bullies or control freaks and also trying to score brownie points. Don't be bullied!

Look at alternatives, but do your research!
There are lots of opportunities for working from home and setting up as a consultant or starting your own business and not all are risky.

But apply the three Rs before you leap:

Reason and rationale – what are the reasons for going it alone and what are your realistic goals for your future life and your business?
Research – look into every aspect of set up costs, operating expenses, competition, type of business and other liabilities and make sure that you have a genuine interest or passion for the business you choose.
Reality – the reality is you won't work less… you'll most likely work more to begin with – but you can build your day around your other commitments and be a lot more flexible with your time. Also know that it may be a while before you start to draw an income…

A few websites for inspiration!
theideasbook.com.au

workathomemums.com.au

careermums.com.au

brandnewday.com.au

Or join CareforKids.com.au Social Working Mums Group here and share your views and experiences with others!