On one level, mobile devices are absolutely brilliant. They put a world of information in the palm of your hand, connect you with others, and are an easy way to pass the time.
However, just as children shouldn't have too much screen time, there are concerns that prolific use of digital devices by parents is having a negative impact on family relationships and children's behaviour.
Here, we look at some research around 'technoference' and see how parents can reduce digital distractions and focus instead on family connections.
What is 'technoference'?
Researchers describe technoference as, 'Everyday interruptions in face-to-face interactions because of technology devices,' and although technoference is experienced by many different people, it's a common occurrence amongst parents.
Technoference can happen at home or out and about, and here are three ways it could play out:
- Your preschooler wants to show you how they can swing themselves at the playground and you respond by mumbling, 'Just a sec...' then continuing to focus on your phone.
- Your mobile vibrates while you're playing with your toddler in the garden and you check the message. Before you know it, you're looking at Facebook and your child has moved on to another activity on their own.
- You ask your school child to have a shower, then get caught up looking at your emails. Before you know it, they've been in the water for 30 minutes and still haven't used any soap!
How much time are parents spending on their digital devices?
Different families have different technology habits, but research indicates that many parents are spending a lot of time connected to a digital device.
The ‘Screen Time and Kids’ Australian Child Health Poll found that 78 per cent of surveyed parents spent at least three hours per weekday using a screen-based device at home.
The Poll found that almost one in five (18 per cent) of parents reported more than 12 hours of use per day, and a report published by the Parenting Research Centre in 2021 says that, ‘Just over half of parents thought they used their devices too much when they were with their children.’
According to the Growing Up Digital report, over 90 per cent of Australian parents, ‘Felt that they themselves were negatively distracted, at least to some extent, by digital technologies;’ and 72 per cent of parents recognised that their own habits using digital media and technology influenced their children’s habits.
The Australian Child Health Poll found a strong link between parent and child screen time (i.e. high levels of screen use by parents was mirrored in their kids); and studies show that children are aware of, and experiencing, technoference.
The Parenting Research Centre report tells us that some children wish their parents would spend less time on a device, or even worry that they’re addicted to it, and one international study found that 54 per cent of children thought their parents checked their devices too often. Their biggest gripe was that parents allowed devices to distract them during conversations.
How can technoference negatively impact families?
Although children benefit from some independent play and every parent needs a little 'me time', there are concerns that too much technoference is having a damaging effect on family relationships and children's behaviour.
The Parenting Research Centre says, ‘It is concerning that a small but growing number of studies have found that parents’ use of technology in the presence of children is associated with reduced parental attention and responsiveness.’
In line with this, parenting researcher, Brandon T. McDaniel says digital distractions can alter 'parenting sensitivity.'
He explains that, 'Distraction with a device could potentially influence every aspect of parenting quality, leading you to be less in sync with your child's cues, to misinterpret your child's needs, to respond more harshly than usual, and to respond much too long after the need arose.'
Through his research, McDaniel has found a link between technoference in the parent-child relationship and increased, 'Child internalising (e.g. anxiety, depression) and externalising (e.g. hyperactivity, disruptive behaviour) problems.'
And the Parenting Research Centre says that, ‘Reduced responsiveness caused by [a parent’s] technology use has been found to be associated with negative mental and behavioural outcomes in children.’
How can parents avoid technoference?
Although there are times when it's important, interesting, or downright essential to use a digital device, here are some tips to shift the focus from technology to family time:
- Monitor your technology habits and make your devices less distracting, e.g. you could turn off email and/or social media notifications, or use an app to track, and be mindful of, your device use.
- Develop strategies to be ‘present’ with your child, e.g. you could make dinner a ‘tech-free time’; commit to putting your device down when your child walks into the room or shows you something; and focus on living in the moment, instead of on social media.
- Model good behaviour for your child, e.g. use your digital devices in moderation and ask yourself whether that social media post, email-check or web search can wait. If it can, focus on engaging with your child and not letting technology interfere with family time.
- Work with your partner and family to reduce technoference, e.g. you could create a ‘family device plan’ together, agreeing on when and where digital devices can be used; or set aside a place where all devices live at certain times of the day (and night).
The takeaway from all this is that digital devices do have a lot to offer, but moderation is key and there's a time and a place for everything.
If you think technology is impacting the relationship you have with your child, partner or anyone else, then it's important to take a step back and focus on the most important experiences – and people – in your life.
By actively connecting with your child, you'll build the bonds and promote the behaviours that will spark joy long after that email becomes old news.
How much screen time should children have?
The Australian Department of Health guidelines recommend no screen time for children under the age of two, a limit of one hour per day for two- to five-year-olds, and a limit of two hours a day for ages five to 17.
However, given that some screen time is educational and there’s a big difference between a five-year-old and a 17-year-old, the eSafety Commissioner says there is no ‘magic figure’ when deciding how much time online is too much.
They say, ‘The right amount of screen time can depend on a range of factors, like your child’s age and maturity, the kind of content they are consuming, their learning needs and your family routine. It can be easy to focus only on the clock, but the quality and nature of what they are doing online, and your involvement, are just as important.’
This focus on parental involvement brings us back to technoference, and to see how parents can help children achieve a healthy balance between online and offline time, click here.
