"Mummy I've wet the bed." Every parent has experienced that cry in the middle of the night at least a few times. Bedwetting (or nocturnal enuresis) is one of the most common and yet most embarrassing and distressing problems that small (and larger) children have to deal with.
Breaking the Stigma Around Bedwetting
Unbelievably this completely natural and frequent issue is still looked upon with repugnance, embarrassment and even shame by some parents who often wonder, "When might my child outgrow wetting the bed?", feeling that it's some sort of social stigma or somehow reflects badly on them.
The fact is we all have bladder issues from time to time. And we're all different.
Some of us have bladders the size of a pea and go to the toilet every hour or so, but some of us seem to be able to go all day without going to the loo at all. And a good proportion of us will have wet the bed at some point in our lives…as kids or even as grown ups.
Bedwetting and Child Development
Bedwetting is simply a manifestation of your child's development in the toilet department. Some may never wet their beds. My little girl wet hers once or twice to the point I was actually more preoccupied with the fact she never seemed to go to the loo. She is totally fine. My best friend's little boy wet his bed frequently and was always going to the loo. He is completely fine too.
Bedwetting does often seem to run in families, but there's no real reason for it doing so and as one mum said: "I don't understand it. Milo is 5 and wets the bed most nights whereas the other two were out of night nappies at 3!"
Why Do Some Children Take Longer to Stay Dry at Night?
Most children develop bladder control at their own pace, but some may experience delays in staying dry through the night, leading to frequent bedwetting. Some children simply take a while longer to get to grips with going to the loo – during the day and at night. Some don't toilet train until they are 3 or 4, and some still wear night-time nappies when they're already at school. It's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Most children outgrow bed-wetting as they grow older.
Changing the Narrative Around Bedwetting
In the classic early Adam Sandler film, Billy Madison, Billy's third-grade friend wets himself on a school outing. Billy (Adam Sandler - an adult who has to take all his school grades in two weeks to take over his father's company) comes to his aid by wetting his own pants in a fountain and declaring: "You ain't cool unless you pee your pants!"
He saves his friend from embarrassment and deals with the issue there, to the point that all the kids put water down the front of their pants in support.
Bedwetting is simply night-time bladder control. It's a result of bladder control problems. Sometimes we're in control, sometimes we're not. Even as an adult I occasionally have those dreams in which I'm desperate for the loo and can't find a toilet that's got a door or isn't filthy – it's simply my body trying to tell me to wake up, because I need to go to the loo. And I can say that a few times in my adult life, I haven't woken up in time or have actually found a loo in my dreams that looks ok and have started to pee! It happens!
Bed Wetting Causes & Prevention
Causes
- Age (generally under 5) – undeveloped bladder control
- Stress or upheaval, nervousness etc.
- Too much liquid before or at bedtime or liquids containing caffeine
- Bladder infection or bladder condition. If your child is also experiencing pain or difficulty passing urine you must see your GP.
- Too little of the antidiuretic hormone (ADH) which can be treated with medicine.
- A child's bedwetting may also be linked to underlying conditions such as sleep apnea, which can interfere with a child’s sleep cycle and ability to wake up when their bladder is full. Consulting a child’s pediatrician can help determine if an underlying medical condition is contributing to persistent bedwetting.
Prevention
- Limit how much your child drinks before bedtime
- Always ensure your child goes to the toilet before getting into bed
- If they wet the bed often, it's even worth waking them up when you go to bed and letting them have a "dream wee". Setting a bedwetting alarm t help your child pass urine often enough can also help condition their body so that they wake up when they need to go to the toilet.
- If they have wet the bed before, encourage and don't admonish. The more relaxed and happy they are the less likely they are to wet the bed.
- Use waterproof mattress protectors to limit damage to your beds and allow your child to wear nighttime nappies to make them feel more secure and confident.
When it happens
- Absolutely never admonish your child for wetting the bed. It's completely out of their control and if it's anything to do with nervousness or stress, telling them off can only make things worse.
- Reassure them. They usually feel really bad about it anyway. It's Ok. It happens to everyone.
- Don't make them feel alienated or different by not allowing them to go on sleepovers. There are plenty of types of night-time nappies or child's underwear for older children on the market. Explain the situation to the friend's parents and they will no doubt be sympathetic and help your child get to bed without any fuss.
By the time your child starts school, he or she will most likely have stopped, so above all, don't worry about it! If you stress about it so will they. It is quite common for children to carry on wetting their bed every now and then until the age of 9 or 10, but see your GP if your child is experiencing pain or discomfort when peeing or if the bedwetting is frequent or increasing.
Author:
Sophie Cross is a public relations consultant and writer who has publicised and written about everything from makeup to The Muppets, child care to celebrity chefs and perfume to Partners in Population and Development! Originally from the UK and as a languages graduate she has worked around the world, living in Australia for the last 11 years where she runs, PR Chicks. Read Sophie's blog
