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| EDUCATION: Teaching self-regulation in pre-school children
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Controlling our emotions and behaviour and navigating through conflict are essential life skills. But these skills of self-regulation don't come naturally; they must be taught and practiced. Learning these skills begins in the very early years, with the foundation being set between birth to age five.
By the age of five, skills such as being able to sit, listen, share and take turns, follow directions, communicate thoughts, plan actions, and demonstrate empathy to peers are all fundamental pieces of self-regulation and skills that are vital for preschoolers to learn if they are to succeed at school.
Children learn to regulate their emotions through watching their parents, so it is important for parents to set a good example in the day-to-day environment. But there are also many ways in which you can actively create situations to build these skills.
Make-believe play
A fabulous tool for roleplaying and investigating emotions, uninterrupted make-believe play allows children to delve into projects and explore a range of outcomes. Using open-ended games, such as building blocks, sand, water and dress-ups puts the child in control, where they can engage their imagination and use abstract thinking in a variety of ways in a safe environment.
Making decisions
Involving your child in making decisions teaches them the processes and problem solving involved in making thoughtful decisions. By incorporating their ideas, they will develop the skills to think actively and independently and experience outcomes from those ideas. Using roleplaying games you can create situations for them to plan, decide and follow through on, to experience a successful outcome. You can also create safe situations where, if they make a mistake, they learn from those mistakes. Whenever possible, take a moment to reflect with them on how they feel their plan worked, and whether they would do anything differently next time.
Provide independent tasks
Though it might not feel like much, being given a small task to complete is a big deal to a toddler. Encouraging independence and confidence, these little steps of exploration and responsibility can also spark the initiative to try other tasks themselves. Whether it's making their own sandwich, ordering a milkshake, or starting the washing machine, each task completed is another foundation of independent thought and understanding of social situations.
Exploratory conversations
Language is an integral part of communication and of understanding emotions, and a key component to thinking and behaviour. Children learn their communication skills from parents, so engaging in meaningful conversations with your child allows your child to explore and investigate feelings while feeling protected, helping them process thoughts in a safe arena. For those children who struggle with language and emotional awareness, using art or drawings to put a face to the emotion can often help, describing how they feel with pictures.
Visual schedules
Visual schedules provide a clear reminder of what is happening in the day, preparing children for what is coming up. This not only encourages literacy, but also helps with memory, attention, and explains what is expected of them at what time. To encourage independence, give children the opportunity to change the schedule, select activities from a list, or move things around, so they feel in control of the day.
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