|
|
| Celebrating the importance of Grandparents as carers |
|
|
|
According to our 2016 survey, 21 per cent of respondents are now using grandparents as a form of child care. And with child care places increasingly difficult to secure, this reliance on extended family child care is only set to rise. With National Grandparents Day this month (23rd October), it's a chance to celebrate and look at the important role grandparents play in the raising of children – as the saying goes: "Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children."
However, with increased reliance on them for child care, how do we make sure that the fairy dust is not lost in the mundane? And how do we make sure that our own parents aren't pushed beyond their limits? Here are a few simple things to say to open that dialogue and ensure the magic remains:
1. You don't need to buy anything, or spend money taking them anywhere! Especially when you are already being so kind providing child care. I'll bring everything you need – simply read a book together, play a game, take a short trip to the park, or just hang out and watch a kid's movie together.
2. Please be careful and let me know if it is getting too much. My kids are energetic and very exhausting – I can't keep up with them myself, so please don't take it personally if I worry about you! All I want is for you, and my children to be happy, healthy and safe.
3. Baths can wait – babies are wriggly, toddlers are very splashy. You don't need to be bent over a bath worrying about slippery floors and sinking children. They can stay dirty until I get home.
4. Though my kids will try and play everything they can think of, I don't expect you to run around the house playing hide-and-seek. Just enjoy time with the kids in a capacity that you are able.
5. I am incredibly appreciative of having you close by to help. Child care is expensive and I love that you have a close bond with the children. But, if you ever feel like I am taking advantage, please speak up. I don't want our relationship to suffer; I'd love this experience to bring everyone closer.
6. If I offer to bring groceries, or pay you in-kind, please accept. Your caring for the children is really helping in reducing our family's budget, but I don't expect you to do it without some form of repayment, particularly as the regular care is putting certain responsibilities on you and your time
7. I might have a lot of lists and instructions, but child care has changed a lot in the last 30 years, so just humour me!
8. My kids will test any boundaries the minute I leave the room. Though I want you to spoil your grandchildren, the rules we have about food (such as no lollies before lunch) are there for everyone's benefit (including yours!), so please don't be afraid to say 'no' to them!
9. My kids are incredibly curious and get into anything. Though I don't expect you to completely change your house, please check any medicines are out of reach.
10. Just let me know if you want to take a break, or go on holiday. The time you spend with your grandchildren should be something you want to do and enjoy, so the minute it becomes a chore and you would like to take some time out, please put your hand up.
Grandparents love the time with their grandchildren, and most happily do it without payment. However, if you are using grandparents for regular care and want to say thanks, here are a few ideas to help ease the burden (and the guilt!):
- Buy a batch of groceries once a month
- Mani/pedi for Grandma; round of golf for Grandad
- Give them a voucher to go out for dinner
- Cook dinner for them whenever they are at your house caring for the kids
- Buy a gift card for their favourite shop
- Handmade gift from the kids
- Buy a subscription to their favourite magazine
- Buy a subscription to Netflix or similar TV provider
- Make a photo album of their time with their grandchildren
- Send them away for the weekend
- A simple card and flowers to say thank you is often enough, it's the thought that counts
|
|
|
|
|
