Whether a bambino is behaving beautifully or acting up, parents play a large role in guiding children's behaviour. And although this sometimes means taking the bad with the good, there are many ways that you can encourage your little one to behave well.
According to The Raising Children Network, a positive and constructive approach is what’s needed, and here are 15 of their practical parenting tips to try.
To foster good behaviour in your child:
1. Be a role model
This means acting in the way you'd like your child to behave. For instance, if you say, "Please" and "Thank you", it will encourage them to do the same.
2. Show your child how you feel
Honestly explain how their behaviour is making you feel and help them see things from your perspective. It helps to start your sentence with 'I', so you might say, "I am getting upset because …"
3. Catch your child being 'good'
Some positive feedback goes a long way, so when you see your child behaving well, praise them for it by specifically saying what they're doing well.
"Try to make six positive comments for every negative comment. And remember that if children have a choice between no attention or negative attention, they’ll often seek out negative attention."
The Raising Children Network
4. Get down to your child’s level
It's easier to pick up on your child’s feelings and thoughts when you're close to them. And being on their level, literally and figuratively, makes it easier for your tyke to pay attention to what you're saying.
5. Listen actively
Nod your head while your child talks and repeat back what you think they're feeling. This provides comfort and respect, plus this helps them deal with tension and 'big emotions' like frustration (that sometimes cause unwanted behaviour).
6. Keep promises
If you say you'll do something – for good or bad – then keep your word. This teaches your child to trust and respect you. They can rely on you to keep a nice promise and won't try to change your mind if you've explained a detrimental consequence.
7. Create an environment for good behaviour
The space around your child can influence their actions, so 'shape their environment' by providing safe and stimulating playthings, keeping breakables/valuables out of sight and keeping delicate/dangerous things out of reach.
8. Choose your battles
Before saying, "No!" or "Stop!" ask yourself if it really matters. By limiting requests, instructions and negative feedback, there is less chance for conflict and bad feelings. Try to use rules only when they’re really needed.
9. Be firm about whining
Don't give in when your child is whining for something because this will only teach them that whining pays off. And only say, "No" when you really mean it.
10. Keep things positive and simple
To guide your child's behaviour in a good way, focus on positive rules rather than negative ones, and give clear, simple instructions. For example, "Please close the fridge door" is better than "Don't leave the fridge door open".
11. Give your child responsibility … and consequences
As they get older, give your child more responsibility for their behaviour and allow them to experience the natural consequences of it. For instance, if it’s their responsibility to pack a snack, and they forget, the consequence is to feel peckish.
If you have to provide consequences for unacceptable or dangerous behaviour, make sure you’ve explained the consequences and that your bambino has agreed to them beforehand.
12. Say it once and move on
If you repeat yourself too much, your child might stop listening to what they're supposed to do or not do. If necessary, give them one last chance to cooperate, remind them of the consequences if they don’t, and then start counting to three.
13. Make your child feel important
To build good behaviour and self-esteem, give your tyke some easy chores or ways to help the family. They'll get better at it, feel good and want to continue, especially when you praise their effort and behaviour.
14. Prepare for challenging situations
Forewarned is forearmed, so think about tricky situations ahead of time and plan around your child's needs. Warn your child five minutes before you need them to switch activities, discuss why you need their cooperation and prepare them for what you expect.
15. Keep a sense of humour
Not to be confused with 'teasing', good humour is a great way to interact with children. Lighten up the tone with songs, giggles and games.
All in all, parents can encourage good behaviour in their kids by:
- Explaining things clearly, including expectations and consequences
- Behaving and communicating positively themselves
- Listening actively and keeping promises
- Creating an environment for good behaviour
- Planning ahead and 'choosing their battles'
So, on that note, good luck with your child's great behaviour!
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